WOUNDS OF DOUBT?
I have met a number of people who say they no longer believe. Some do not believe in the Church that they were born into. Some do not believe in the God inherited from their fathers.
But is this unbelief a product of principles, a result of real discoveries that religion and God are phony realities? A closer look at those who claim these principles reveal that in fact, those who do not believe are wounded people.
For how can one believe in a loving, caring God when they grew up in conflicted family situations? How can one believe when you have been disappointed or frustrated by people who represent religious institutions? Isn’t it easy just to dispense with the notion of God since in fact, he doesn’t seem to care when you need him most?
Thomas did not believe Jesus was resurrected not because he did not love Jesus. He did experience Jesus in his daily contacts with his teachings and miracles. But Thomas was hurting after seeing Jesus fall into the hands of his enemies, after Jesus succumbed to the shameful death on the cross. Thomas was wounded and he could find no God to take away his pain.
Many people today are like Thomas, nursing deep wounds. There are confusing things that happen in their lives and they are left hanging in the air. They are looking for answers but the search seems to be in vain. Others are looking for a way out but find themselves only entangled more securely into the troubles that plague their lives. The only solution is to question every thing, even God’s love.
Yes, like Thomas we find ourselves wondering at times whether Jesus truly cares. If God wants to change us, why don’t he just come and work that miracle in us. If he loves us, why don’t he just rescue us without delay.
Jesus did indeed appear to Thomas and became his salvation. But Jesus did not take away the wounds in Thomas’ mind and heart. Rather, he showed him his own wounds, the mystery of pure love made to suffer for no fault of its own. In making himself Savior to this sincere disciple, Jesus showed him proofs of his true and lasting love. Life will deal us many wounds, but Jesus will stay with us and enter into our experience as one who suffers.
Many are driven to unbelief because of their suffering. But many also find the way to stronger faith by seeing the suffering of the Lord and knowing that this is all for love of us. Our God is not a superman triumphant over every sin and strife. He is a God of compassion and mercy triumphant through the cross.
I have my own crosses Lord and I suffer wondering when all these would cease. Then I see you emerge from the tomb filled with wounds that testify to your love for me. Let me touch your wounds as I ask you to touch mine. Make me strong knowing that you are God who endures all things for me… and with me.
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